Mr. India

Mr. India

Amalendu Thakur

Yesterday…

I was watching Ratul taking  swim lessons  from his teacher along with bunch of other kids. I was sitting in one of a row of chair placed along the side of the big swimming pool for the parents to sit and watch their kids. One chair on my left side was empty and next to it a lady was sitting, must be the mother of some kid who are in the water.

Near the middle of the session, one gentleman came, and as he was passing by, probably to find a chair to sit, he saw the lady who was sitting next to the empty chair and says, ‘Hi  ...how are you ..’ , he started talking to her , they must be familiar to each other, both of are of Indian origin. They are talking in English. At a time the gentleman was standing such a way that his not-so-impressive buttocks were becoming an obstacle to my eye which was watching Ratul in his various swimming styles.

Mistake happens  but mistake shouldn’t  be continued ,  the guy was in that position still after 2 minutes, few options came to my mind about what to do with his butt …

   

   pushing him onto his butt  to the water which is 2 to 3 feet away (criminal offence man!) ,

   biting it (really!.. why not ? Tyson bite holyfield’s ear… but this is butt!!..ahh so what..),

   clipping my cell phone onto it and watch Netflix (Yayyy. that’s a good idea!.. at least I can watch    something!)  

I think the guy read my mind… suddenly turn to me and asked me ‘Is anybody sitting there ?’ pointing his finger to the empty chair.

What? All the chairs are here for the parents to sit. The chair he is pointing to ,is empty! , there are no indications that I booked that chair for anybody, and I am sure the distance between my chair and the empty chair AND the distance between lady’s char and the empty chair is equal , (or I should double-check!),  and after all nobody is sitting in the chair, I can see!!… Unless I have an unconventional eyes and above all why he asked me instead of asking the lady to whom he was busy talking all this time! (Weird!!)

All these went through my mind…in a few milliseconds.

I got angry and muttered  ‘Dnat kyalane Banchharam…’ (I watched Golmaal  for at least 25 times!) , but made sure that my lips does not move (Yes , I am a whole hearted Prosenjit fan since the day I understand Prosenjit )

The guy couldn’t understand (not a  Bengali for sure!) …so he asked  ’Sorry ?..”

I looked at his eyes with grin face and replied ‘Yes, Mr. India is sitting there. ’